A Record of A Transition Plus other musings and ramblings

I don’t often talk about my living situation at home, to be honest it’s a little embarrassing. I now live in my grandmother’s old house. She passed away a few years ago and my uncle, who lived here with her for 30 years took over the house when she died. About 3 years ago, I had lost my job and had to sell my flat. I asked him if I could move here, he’s a single guy with no family, living in a fair sized 3 bed semi detached house. He agreed and was quite happy to have company and as he was basically living out of the living room, I could take the upper level of the house for myself.

And so it’s been for the last 2 years, I’ve lived here and paid for most things, spent a lot of time and money on the house, getting it fixed and brought back to a livable standard. We’ve had our differences but for the most part we got along.

My uncle is in his mid 50s now, he’s a heavy alcoholic and spent his youth in and out of prison and in trouble with the law. He’s never held down a job and his health now means he can’t work. He’s played the system all his life. My aunt, his sister, does everything for him. She comes by every weekend with his messages and is his ‘advisor’ on things that he can’t or won’t deal with himself.

So a couple of weeks ago, my mother told this aunt that I’m trans. She said that her reaction was quite sympathetic and supportive, that I had the right to do what I needed to do to be happy. All seemed well, so I told my uncle. At first he was a bit confused, he thought I was gay, but after some explaining I made the situation clear and told him what to expect. He took the news well and even made a couple wee jokes. Everything seemed fine. Or so I thought…

As I’ve mentioned, with work I’m away from home most of the time. But I did find out from my mother a day or so later that my uncle had been doing some thinking. He was drunk at the time I told him (it’s hard to catch him sober…) and he didn’t fully appreciate what I had told him. He had come to the conclusion that this would in some way damage his ‘street cred’ in the village we live in, that I had been sneaky and concealed this when I first came to stay here (he wouldn’t have agreed to me staying if he knew this originally!) and that he doesn’t want me living in the house any more. My aunt is in agreement with him on this matter.

I’m happy to say though that my mother has taken my side 100%, that she argued the case back to my aunt and unfortunately this has now caused a rift in our already fragmented family. Things at home are tense, the odd time I am at home, my uncle purposefully avoids me. Which I don’t really mind to be honest, he could be a pain in the arse at times when he’s drunk and wants company. But there is an atmosphere, they have been warned though that discriminating against me because I’m trans is illegal in Scotland. I don’t want to ever have the police involved, but I am left to wonder what will happen in my absence.

I’m happy to report that another aunt, who my uncle decided to tell that I’m trans before I had the chance to, has contacted me and been quite vocal about her support for me. She told me that when my uncle called her, saying he was “freaking out”, she rightfully told him to fuck off and set the record straight regarding his bullshit.

My parents did offer to let me move back in with them until I could find something on my own, but I didn’t spend 3 years and several hundreds of pounds on this house just to walk away and hand it to a fucking jakey who’s never worked a day in his life.

I don’t fucking think so.