A Record of A Transition Plus other musings and ramblings

iragray:

Trans Infighting by postgender

I don’t see calling someone out for the appropriation of trans women’s struggles as identity policing. There’s a difference in saying “Hey, you holding that identity is really oppressive” and “You can’t identify that way!” We all know Lucas can identify however he wants, but using different language has different effects. On the other hand, I completely agree that, as a community, we need to get our shit together and learn how to resolve conflict lest we crumble like all other movements.

I think the issue of transmisogyny and Ru Paul can be really complicated, because the argument boils down to who do we, as trans* people, accept as trans*. Who is trans* enough. Ru Paul has said he IDs as trans*, but he’s also said he only does so for money. It’s important to take note though that oppression is not the same as identity. Ru Paul may very well experience transmisogyny, but that doesn’t mean he experiences it institutionally. At the point in time you can dictate when and by whom you are marginalized, it’s no longer institutional.

It’s important to recognize that various forms of policing were mentioned here: identity policing, language policing. It’s ironic, telling, and interesting to me that tone policing was neglected, because, in many ways, this person is somewhat advocating for that. We acknowledge when people check us on our privilege, but we don’t acknowledge our continual abuse of it. Now, I think the point they make about needed to resolve conflict is important, but let’s not conflate the need to resolve conflict with avoiding conflict at all costs - including biting the bullet when oppression is being perpetuated by someone in your community. It’s interesting that so many folks who are not subject to transmisogyny have felt the need to chime in and say whether or not they feel the experiences and feelings of GMAB (gendered male at birth) trans* folks are valid.

Being called out by people in your community can be painful, yes, but it is significantly more painful and more infuriating when it is your community that marginalizes you, defends its right to do so, and tells you that you don’t have a right to be upset in the first place or that they too have a right to be upset about it all. 

I’m with Carson on this. I’m very much a believer in, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. If someone does or says something that’s not cool, then you should address this with them. However, if you want to get a positive response from them and have them actually listen to you, it’s more likely to happen if you approach them in a non aggressive manner and say ‘hey, that wasn’t cool, this is why’. The angry baying mob approach is just going to make that person defensive.

No one is perfect, people will make mistakes, you will make mistakes, it happens. Destructive dialogue, snarky blog blog posts, passive aggressive attacks don’t engender growth and change. Constructive dialogue in a safe and respectful manner works.

Fuck, let’s just try being a bit nicer to each other.